A Grumpy Old Man's guide to life in the 21st Century

 My morning view in the mirror !

The guide is that when you reach your seventies, things no longer work as they ought to, your memory is distinctly vague and cloudy and the smallest things get on your wick.

1.  Remembering things from 50 years ago clearly but not yesterday or for that matter, this morning!
2. Wearing slip on shoes since you get dizzy bending down to tie laces.
3. You want to hibernate during winter.
4. You become an antiques expert (?) through watching daytime television such as; Antiques Roadshow, Bargain Hunt, Homes under the Hammer etc;
5. When you return from the shops and you have at least four gripes about prices, service and queues.
6. You begin to feel that everyone on the planet except your wife/husband was put on the planet to annoy you.
7. The thing you do most in bed is to get up to go to the bathroom several times a night.
8. You can spell with alarming accuracy and get ratty when people don't use proper grammar in their sentences.
9. You appear to get heavier by the week and not just the bags under your eyes.
10. There is excess room to spare in the house but not in the medicine cabinet.
11. Your choice of car is more to do with reliability than speed.
12. You go around turning off lights for less than romantic reasons.
13. You're constantly upset by the youth of today.
14. You think conscription would cut crime.
15. Your repeat prescription is longer than a Mafia run drug cartel shopping list.
16. You have to refer to your Grandkids for help with such things as things as             I-Phones, Computers and anything that was invented in the last 25 years!

There are benefits to the 21st century but I'm damned if I can remember them !!